Thursday, April 2, 2015

Heard Around the House 2

THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD

Joe: "Mama, I think 'covet' means to blow someone's house down."

Joe: "I don't have a battery, so I never run out of energy."

Joe: "I'm a little worried about that smell in the bathroom."

Me: "What'd you learn at school today?"
Joe: "We didn't trace fives!"


THE THREE-YEAR-OLD

Josh: "I'm going to have a Joshua Shop. And I'm going to sell excavators and candy."

Josh: "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! THE MUSIC IS MAKING TOO MUCH MUSIC!"

Me: "Hey, Josh-Baby. Let me help you with your shirt."
Josh: "I'm not a baby. I'm a helicopter-man."

Josh: "Mom, can you please kill this dead bug?"

Josh: "I always follow you to the bathroom, because I have something to tell you."


THANK YOU, YOUTUBE

Joe: "Why do snakes live in water?"

Me: "Maybe they like to eat fish."

Joe: "Oh. Do the snakes outside the water like to eat squirrels?"

Me: "Yep. Would you like to see a video of a snake eating a squirrel?"

Joe and Josh: "YES!"

...compliments of YouTube...

Joe: "BUT THE SQUIRREL DIES!"



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