Thursday, October 16, 2014

The First Week Home (re: Twins Aren't So Bad After All)

Surprisingly, twin newborns are not as life-shattering as I expected. We have our moments of chaos, to be sure. But these babies together are actually way easier than either our first or second kid!

It's not that there are fewer diapers, less laundry, more sleep, or easier work. I just think our parenting philosophy has relaxed a little, and now we can enjoy our kids, instead of freaking out to get every detail of family life "right" (whatever that is).

Here's the plan that's currently working in our houseful of crazy:

I will drink coffee every morning. And still nurse the babies. I might have a beer after the preschoolers go to bed. And still nurse the babies. I could eat nutella and crackers for dinner with ice cream for dessert. And still nurse the babies. Or maybe, if I get tired of nursing the babies, we'll switch to homemade formula (not to be pretentious, just because it's cheaper than store-bought formula). But actually we won't, because --
Seriously, you know why we breastfeed? It's not all the research that guilts exhausted moms into more and better motherhood via "breast is best." (And really super moms should buy this breastfeeding/pumping system of $18 nipples and $120 bottle warmers, because it will make you the best breastfeeding mom ever, and help you love your baby best of all and then register for a thousand-million necessary accessories to go with it, because how did small humans ever get fed before corporate America?!!) Seriously, we breastfeed because it's free. And I like a good deal. That's it.

We will let our kids stay up after 8 pm for special events. 

We might skip a nap for a playdate. 

We might co-sleep, if I'm too tired to put a baby back in the crib. We might not co-sleep, if I'm too tired to get the baby from the crib.

We'll probably eat the same thing for every meal, because it takes zero brainpower, and the kids like it. And take daily vitamins to make up the difference. 

We'll cloth diaper once their little bottoms are big enough to fit the cloth diapers. Again, not because they're better (maybe a little), just because it's cheaper. Unless the laundry gets overwhelming, and then we'll stop. 

I might "sleep while they sleep," but I also might use the downtime to take pictures of my cat with the tiny babies. 



And we'll all be just fine.

Because Everyone (Apparently) Wants To Know

As the admitting nurse in the Labor & Delivery wing of the hospital filled out my paperwork, she casually asked, "Do you want your tubes tied?"

It took me a moment to realize this is a real question, on the admitting paperwork for moms in labor, about to give birth. "Have you had prenatal care?" "Will you want an epidural?" "Do you want your tubes tied?"

WELL, GEEZ! What woman in labor, in her right mind, after 9 months of carrying around baby(ies) and extra hormones, and an inevitable future of no sleep and more budgeting DOESN'T want her tubes tied?! What a terrible time to ask someone to make a life-changing, long-term, irreversible, expensive decision!!! 

It's like asking a marathon runner at mile 25 if they're ever going to run again. It's like asking the winner of Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest if they'd like another hot dog.

Congratulations! Do you ever plan on eating a hot dog again? You know where hot dogs come from, right?
I guess if I'm audacious enough to have two kids at once, I shouldn't take offense to strangers wanting to know about our future family plans. 

And they all ask. Every nurse through 3 weeks of bed rest. The anesthesiologist giving the epidural. All our usual best friends around town -- grocery store checker, post office clerk, other parents at the park, the pediatrician, the pediatrician's wife (whom I don't know, but happened to be at the office during the babies' first wellness visit), and the random neighbor I've talked to twice (the second time about whether or not we're "done.")

After giving birth to the twins, my mid-wife reminded me every single day for four days straight that there should be no sex for four weeks. I heard her on the first day, but I guess I laughed too many times about Irish twins and how funny it would be if we had two sets of twins nine months apart. So I got the "no sex" talk for three more days in a row.

So here's the deal. Since everyone (apparently) wants to know, I will share our future family plans right here, on my blog, for the world to see! 

Today, this 16th day of October 2014, having no assurance of anything for the future (as no one really does), we will uncompromisingly commit to the following as the definitive and right number of children for our family (also with the clear intention that no more of them come as sets):

I don't know. We'll see.