1. Breakfast Comes Early
I've been waking up famished at 4 am. My body's acting like I didn't eat four slices of Nutella toast and chocolate milk before falling asleep on the couch at 10 pm.
2. When Bacon Burns Our House Down
The other morning I set off the smoke alarm trying to make bacon. Let me rephrase that - I set off every smoke alarm in the house, trying to make bacon. At 4 am. The silence button doesn't work on our ultra-safe alarms, and they're wired in, so there's no popping out the batteries. And they're ultra-sensitive, so if you turn on the oven, they'll go off. The only way to silence these smoke detectors is to completely remove them from the wall and run them outside to fresh air -- siren blaring the whole time. Sometimes we forget to put them back, and they end up on the back porch for days.
3. Lasting Repercussions
So now when I turn on the stove for pre-dawn Breakfast Number One, the dog runs into the bedroom and wakes up Wally like we're all gonna die. When he wanders into the kitchen, I usually offer a distracted and unconvincing, "Oh, I'm so sorry you're awake too." But I'm secretly glad that he's not getting sleep either.
4. Safer Alternatives
I've been sticking to scrambled eggs and cheese since the bacon debacle...
5. A Twin-Pregnancy Meal Plan
...followed by Frosted Flakes at 8 am, trail mix through the morning, Lunch #1 at 11 am, Lunch #2 at 2 pm, granola bars at 4:30 pm, another egg while making dinner, Dinner #1 at 6 pm, ice cream or popcorn through the evening, and Dinner #2 at 10 pm.
And I'm still hungry all the time.
7. So It Figures
Women pregnant with twins are twice as likely to develop gestational diabetes. ::sigh::
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